Ashes in the Wind
by TheCookieMonster77
Summary: In her eagerness to finally shed her loneliness, Lucy missed all the signs that maybe Natsu wasn't quite...right. *based off the crack theory that E.N.D. is masquerading as Natsu* *Rating may change*
1. Erase the Chill

Title: Ashes in the Wind

Summary: In her eagerness to finally shed her loneliness, Lucy missed all the signs that maybe Natsu wasn't quite...right. *based off the crack theory that E.N.D. is masquerading as Natsu*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

**Warning: There are so many spoilers for everything after the new timeskip that you will choke.**

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AN: I hate this theory, it's horribly heart-wrenching, but I can't get this out of my head so I might as well write/post it before Mashima decides to reveal what is under Natsu's bandage and all of it goes completely haywire. Changes will start out small but everything will change pretty quickly so that I'm not just writing the same old chapters. So, welcome to the main reason why I haven't been focusing on my other stories, I hope you like angst.

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Lucy stared off to the side, completely uninterested in the fight occurring in the ring below. As much as she tried to adhere to her new motto of greeting each day with a smile and enthusiasm, she just couldn't stop her disappointment from gnawing at her stomach.

Seriously, even she could take out all the mages below her. To think that Fairy Tail was giving up the title of the strongest guild to these farces…

She idly noted Jason-senpai crowing her praises and her lips twitched into the slightest of frowns. It really wasn't that difficult to notice Skull Millione pulling their punches. Not to her, at least. Lucy sighed.

A flicker of cold tingled in her senses and Lucy froze a moment before silence descended upon the arena. She automatically sought out the power source, narrowing her eyes at the lone figure draped in black walking into the arena. She stretched her senses, shivering when she fully examined the mystery figure's magic power. It was...cold but, off. Like the type of cold that burned your senses, numbing your limbs with icy fire. Or was it the other way around, the type of heat that was so hot you shivered as your senses went haywire?

Lucy snapped herself together. What was she doing? She turned to Jason-senpai and shouted, "Get everyone out of here. Now!"

Jason-senpai had opened his mouth to reply but couldn't as a huge blast of heat nearly knocked both of them off their feet. Lucy shuddered as the heat became oppressive, pushing down on her like a stuffy blanket. What was with this heat?

A brilliant burst of flame caught her attention and Lucy gasped as the acrid smell of charred clothing and hair assaulted her nose. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and carefully breathed through her mouth as she peeked over the railing. _We need to fight back_…

The challenger stood unmoving in the stadium and Lucy could vaguely make out their laughter amongst the crowd's screams and shouts. Sweat trickled down her back before another blast of heat slammed into her.

Her sweat soaked shirt clung to her, the sticky material bunching against her skin uncomfortably. She tugged her collar in hopes of relief and yelped as it gave away instead.

_What the hell? This guy's strong enough to __**melt clothing**__?_

Lucy gulped as she realized just how outclassed she was right now. There was a whole stadium's worth of people to protect and most of the other capable mages in it were throwing themselves at the challenger, only to be knocked away like paper dolls. Not for the first time, Lucy wished some of her friends from the other guilds had come. Memories of the last time she had been outclassed and alone flickered through her head and Lucy's heart plunged as she realized this situation was almost the same. Her knees wobbled and her head spun, making Lucy feel like she was about to throw up.

_Not even Natsu…_

_Wait_. Lucy gasped when it hit her. All those rumors of a black cloaked figure, the wanderer she tried to track down in hopes of it being her best friend… But, she had thought she'd recognize her best friend's magic signature...goodness knows they've fought together enough that she knew his signature like the back of her hand…

The fear crawled up her throat, making Lucy choke as the pungent smell of burnt clothing and molten metal burn her eyes. _Oh god, please…_

"Lucy!"

She would know that voice anywhere. She whipped around, her heart stuttering in her chest. "Happy!"

The little blue cat flew circles around her head, creating a nice breeze, all the while chattering on excitedly. She hoped Happy would forgive her for not paying too much attention to him, rather leaning over the railing in hopes that the heat wasn't making her hallucinate those long pink locks or cheerful battle cries. She gulped.

Natsu's head snapped up, his bottomless eyes meeting hers. She felt everything else melt away as her relief crashed through her, her elbows breifly crashing into the molten metal. Lucy subconsciously jerked back but was otherwise too occupied with Natsu to notice her body's protests, trying to find the same gleam of relief and happiness in his frozen face. Natsu stared back at her, his eyes wide and flat. Flickers of unease crawled through her chest. Did he not want to see her?

But then, his eyes crinkled and his mouth stretched into a toothy grin. The heat doesn't seem oppressive anymore, more like a blanket cocoon rather than an inescapable torment. And Lucy could only smile in response because finally, the ever present chill of loneliness was gone.

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	2. Bottled Up

Title: Ashes in the Wind

Summary: In her eagerness to finally shed her loneliness, Lucy missed all the signs that maybe Natsu wasn't quite...right. *based off the crack theory that E.N.D. is masquerading as Natsu*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

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AN: Also, I forgot to mention earlier that while I like some parts of the manga right now, I also see a lot of things that could have been done differently. As a result, while the emphasis is on little-dragneel's theory, this fic will also be looking into a lot of other possible plotlines. Figure another chapter or two similar to this before I start messing with canon.

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"Fairy Tail just _broke up_?"

Lucy ducked her head and tried not to grind her teeth too loudly. She knew he was just in shock and tried to reason out her anger but, the fire racing through her veins was quickly overtaking everything. Of all the things for _him_ to be whining about…

"They could have easily stayed together! When did we ever listen to Gramps anyways?" Natsu growled, shaking his head. "Laxus always wanted to be guildmaster, he could've taken over. Or Levy. Or even Erza. Or a lot of people." Natsu rolled his shoulders before slamming his fist on his seat. "How could Gramps just disregard family-"

"Do _you_ have _any_ right to be saying that?" Lucy hissed, snapping her head up to glare at Natsu. But, her anger flickered momentarily as the emotion slipped off Natsu's face, his dead eyes seeming to swallow hers. _For someone passionately whining three seconds ago, he sure knows how to show enthusiasm._ She dismissed the snarky thought as her anger returned full force. Lucy pressed her lips together and looked off to the side, taking deep breaths through her nose. "You just _left_," she muttered.

Natsu coughed and Lucy gritted her teeth one final time. _Remember, he had lost his dad after looking for him for years._ She took one last deep breath before forcing on a smile a turning back to Natsu. Her smile felt a little tight and Lucy subtly rolled her shoulders in an attempt to get rid of some of her anger while observing Natsu. His face was carefully blank, reminding Lucy of his tendency to bottle painful things up. Some more of her anger disappeared (_be grateful he's back, don't push him to share those kinds of things yet_) and her smile became a bit more genuine. "I'm sorry. You were going through a lot, I'm sure you had your reasons."

Natsu's eye twitched and he opened his mouth to say something. But, halfway through he changed his mind, snapping his mouth shut and closing his eyes. Natsu clenched his fist, his knuckles turning white.

Guilt flickered in her stomach but, Lucy pushed it away. After a year of depression and anger, she had needed to get that out. She frowned at Natsu's clenched fist, her eyes flickering to Happy briefly. The little exceed didn't look too worried at Natsu's turmoil so, Lucy tried to shake off the shivers creeping down her spine. Something about not seeing Natsu smiling felt _wrong_. No matter how angry she was at him, she didn't want him to be unhappy.

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh. This was not how she what she had planned their reunion to be like.

"Look, Natsu," Lucy said, frowning when he continued to stare at her feet, his eyes shadowed. Lucy exchanged a concerned look with Happy. "Let's go to my place and eat. We can talk more there."

Natsu didn't respond and Lucy bit her lip, uneasiness washing over her. She shifted nervously, her nails digging into her palm. As mad as she was at Natsu, it didn't change the fact that he was finally _here_ with her and she hasn't felt true companionship like this for months. She gulped. "Natsu?"

Natsu finally looked up, his eyes flat and hooded. Lucy's shoulders tensed, only slightly relaxing when he smiled toothily. "Sorry Luce," he said, ignoring her flinch at the familiar nickname, "I was just thinking. But yeah, food sounds awesome!"

_Natsu ignored a food offering in favor of thinking?_

Lucy smirked. "That's new for you."

Natsu pouted at her and Lucy chuckled and waved her hand. "Shall we go? I'm getting hungry." She eyed his bandaged chest and long, dirty locks. "We could clean you up while we're at it, too."

Natsu jumped up with a cheer, grabbing Happy and her hand as he started to drag them out of the castle's garden. She cocked her head to the side and stared at the back of Natsu's head, wondering just what had happened in the past year to change him so much. Natsu caught her staring and shot her a megawatt grin and suddenly, it seemed just like old times. Lucy giggled as the last bits of tension drained from her.

She supposed Natsu had just matured over the past year, even if his normal spark seemed just a tad colder now.

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	3. Growing Gulfs

Title: Ashes in the Wind

Summary: In her eagerness to finally shed her loneliness, Lucy missed all the signs that maybe Natsu wasn't quite...right. *based off the crack theory that E.N.D. is masquerading as Natsu*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

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AN: Yes, I know it's been forever. Please hold any complaints you might have until after you read the AN at the end of the chapter.

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"Hey Lucy, wanna join us?"

Lucy stiffened at the shout and tried not to growl too loudly. "Like hell!" Lucy shouted back as she banged her fist on her bathroom door, taking a deep breath. _Dammit Lucy, you know he doesn't deserve your rage_.

Lucy took another deep breath as she walked into her bedroom, her eyes drifting to all the newspaper clippings strung up on her wall out of habit. Her stomach clenched at her constant reminder of her loneliness, her angry shouts at Natsu ringing in her ears. She trudged over to her bed and collapsed onto it, slowly trying to burn a hole through her ceiling as her frustration grew.

As much as she loved the moments when happiness bubbled in her stomach from the joy that she finally had her best friend back, she couldn't stop her growing disappointment from gnawing at her consciousness. All of her the small displeasures itched at the back of her skull and her fingers twitched as her mind screamed at her to scratch them raw.

Lucy threw her arm over her eyes and huffed. She supposed some small part of her had wanted Natsu to come crawling back to her, begging her forgiveness (not that she hadn't already forgiven the idiot but, the thought would have been nice). Even if she understood why Natsu had needed the year alone, he had still abandoned her and condemned her to her loneliness. Lucy realized she was gritting her teeth and hissed, trying to will away her irritation. By this point, all she wanted was an apology, just so she knew he realized he couldn't expect her to automatically forgive him after he disappeared for a year.

Then again, it wasn't just the lack of apology. Natsu had changed over the past year. Had changed _a lot_ over the past year. He still covered up everything with that wonderful boyish grin of his but, he was more...more…

Lucy's frown deepened. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but, there was something drastically different about him. He had lost a spark somewhere along the line. There were times she would turn around and his eyes...his eyes looked dead. He would just be staring blankly off to the side until he noticed her, and then it was right back to covering everything back up with a big grin and mindless chatter.

Wasn't she his best friend? Weren't they confidants?

_A whole year..._

Lucy bit her lip at her hypocrisy when she remember that she hadn't told him much either. Not about her depression, not about Aquarius, not much of anything from the past year, really.

_Looks like we both have our secrets._

Lucy heard water splashing and then footsteps coming towards her door. "Yo Lucy, got any pants I can borrow?"

Lucy shrieked when her doorknob started to turn. "Don't come in here!"

Natsu whined from the other side. "Why not, you didn't have a problem with it a year ago!"

_Now what could've possibly changed that?_

"Yes I did!" Lucy shouted, springing up and rifling through her drawers in hopes that the burst of activity would drive away her spiteful thoughts. "Just don't come in here!" Lucy shuffled some skirts aside before smacking her forehead, remembering that she had tossed out her sweats almost a year ago, seeing how her closet was small and the weather never changed in Crocus. Lucy pursed her lips as she eyed her drawers before turning on her heel and pulling her door open enough so that she could poke her head out and face Natsu. She flashed him a -slightly- apologetic grin. "Sorry, I have nothing. Why don't you just wash your pants? With your magic, you can dry them easily afterwards."

Natsu gave her a flat look, his eyes hooded. She was barely managed to suppress her shiver at his lifeless pits. "Those pants are old."

Lucy snorted. "Since when have you ever cared?" She wriggled out of her doorway and ducked around him. "Come on," she said as she headed towards her bathroom without waiting to see if Natsu was following her. "I'll even help you wash them. We can eat afterwards."

Her floor groaned as Natsu bounced after her. "Thanks Luce!"

Her stomach lurched and Lucy froze. _What did he just say..._

Natsu managed not to bowl her over, his feet squeaking against her tiles, and the noise helped Lucy break out of her trance. She whipped around, half falling as she scrambled to grab the bathroom's door frame before she totally slipped on the slick tiles. "Don't call me that," she warned, her voice flat with the barest hints of rage leaking through.

Natsu stiffened in surprise, his face carefully blank under her glare. His eyebrows twitched and a muscle in his jaw throbbed as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine."

Lucy pressed her lips together, determined not to falter when she met Natsu's dark eyes. They were flat yet again, his usual spark banked and locked away as they glared at each other. She narrowed her eyes at him before turning on her heel and stomping into her bathroom, slamming the door behind her with an angry huff.

Lucy swallowed her shout and moved forward until she was able to grip the edges of her sink. Her knuckles were bone white against the porcelain as she clenched her fists until the trembling in her limbs disappeared, Natsu's dark eyes dancing in her mind's eye. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to will her irritation away, the desire to scream and kick something growing with each second.

It had been a year, she _knew_ the two of them couldn't have just returned to being pals like they used to be. They weren't gelling like they should be, their meanings and phrases coming out twisted and jumbled and their frustration egging the other one until the tension grew unbearable. Lucy knew she would buckle under it soon if one of them didn't do _something_ to change the situation. Lucy took a deep breath, knowing she really needed to walk out and sit Natsu down and start what would undoubtedly be a very long but, very necessary conversation. They wouldn't be able to go back to what they were without it. Both had lost too much, both had too much to tell the other.

But instead, her hands stayed glued to her sink and she listened silently to Natsu stomping away, and the gulf stretched wider as the silence descended.

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AN: Yes, again, I know it's been a while since I updated this fic. Life got Difficult and I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the WIPs I have/had going and it got pushed to the back burner for my own sanity. Which brings me to my next point;

I'm very, very sorry to say this but, I truly can't continue this story. I've been trying to write this story for months but Fairy Tail in general has become so problematic for me that I can't even think of canon without becoming physically ill and/or downright furious. Tbh, I haven't read the manga for roughly six months other than the Christmas special chapter, and reading that was probably the biggest mistake I've made in years. As a result, several of my WIPs (esp stuff like this that follows canon pretty closely) have been discarded. :(

However, since a fair amount of work has gone into plotting this fic out, I figured rather than me just deleting this story outright, I'd put it up for adoption. If anyone's interested, I can put up what I have written for the next chapter and some plot notes and anyone who wants to continue the story can (just pls credit me for anything I wrote). Heck, if you are interested in continuing the story (or taking bits of it and making it your own or whatever), message me/review/whatever in the next two weeks or so and I'll put your name in the next chapter so people know who to go check out. As a final note, please know that I don't mind how many people want to take this fic/plot bunny up so if any of you want to continue this, go for it.


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